


Play Date

by Crockzilla



Series: Domesti-Kink with Spideypool [5]
Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Deadpool - All Media Types, Iron Man (Movies), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Play, Dadpool, Disney Songs, Fluff, Little!Bucky - Freeform, Little!Tony, M/M, Non-Sexual Age Play, little!peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 05:11:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11867439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crockzilla/pseuds/Crockzilla
Summary: Dadpool hosts a play date for like all of the Avengers. It goes super well.





	Play Date

**Author's Note:**

  * For [notlucy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/notlucy/gifts).



> This continuity is all over the place, but mostly it is meant to fit in the world of notlucy's Brownstone in Brooklyn series, which everyone should go read.
> 
> This is inspired by all of those wonderful MCU age play fics where Wade ends up babysitting everyone's Littles.

“This is a god-awful idea.”

Wade sighed. He was inclined to agree, but he wasn’t going to say that out loud when his tiny spider was already bouncing off the walls. (Literally. He was doing like that thing from the Ninja Turtles movie where they jump off the wall [the second Ninja Turtles movie {with Vanilla Ice}].

“We can cancel,” Wade suggested. “We can say we were – called to an emergency brunch, or you over-conditioned your hair, or –“

“No we can’t,” Peter said woefully, finally dropping to the floor in a sad little pile of nerves. “They’ll be here any second. Steve is _never_ late, like _ever._ ”

Wade’s heart fluttered – even though this was pretty much all Peter’s fault, he couldn’t stand to see his love in this much distress. “C’mon, what’re you worried about?” he cajoled, helping his boyfriend to his feet. “You’re goddamn Spider-man! You’re Peter Parker, boy genius! You could tell these guys that you belong to Poop-Eaters Anonymous and they’d think it was cute.”

Peter made a face at him, then went back to pacing and fidgeting aggressively with the sleeves of his long-sleeve T, which was actually Wade’s T and therefore adorably big on him. Because Peter’s adorable-ness was exactly the problem – _every_ one loved him, and he had way too many friends, and it got them into pickles like _this,_ waiting for Captain America and Iron Man and the Winter Soldier to come over for a motherfucking _play date._

It had all started last week when Peter had come home from “combat training” with Captain Spangle-Dick (which, if Wade didn’t know his beloved was pure and incapable of subterfuge, he would find _very_ suspicious because Peter _TOTALLY_ had a crush on the octogenarian Avenger even if he wouldn’t admit it). He’d had that look on his face that said, “I did something bad and not in a fun way,” which was highly weird in and of itself. Peter insisted that he didn’t remember how anything kinky had come up in conversation, let alone _age play_ (which meant he did remember but he didn’t want to say) but turns out Cap, Bucky, and Peggy (Cap’s lady friend who was in the future and somehow Steve’s age [because of a wizard? {or something}]) were in a poly, D/s triad and got up to all _kinds_ of crazy shenanigans, including sometimes age-playing with Tony Stark. Go figure! And that was about as much as Wade planned on ever thinking about it because he generally avoided Steve Rogers and it sounded like Cap and Spidey were cool, so whatevs. But then, like the next day, he got the call.

“Cock Rings R Us, Wad speaking.”

“Hello, Wade. This is Steve Rogers.”

“…oh hey.”

“Hi there.” Jesus, even over the _phone_ he was disgustingly handsome. “Listen, I imagine Peter told you about our conversation –“

“Yes. He did. We tell each other everything.”

“Of course,” Steve had said, placating. “And, I apologize if this is overstepping but – I shared what he told me with Peg and Tony and Bucky, and we’re wondering if you two would be interested in – spending time together. In our age play dynamics.”

“Like a play date?”

“A play date -- yes,” he’d said, sounding relieved. “I understand if you don’t want to, or if you need time to discuss it—“

“We’d love to,” Wade had answered immediately, because _fuck_ Captain America who he was sure had expected him to be all “ooh maybe I don’t know” but turns out Deadpool was _decisive_ and _bold_ and shit.

“Oh – wonderful!” he’d said, sounding genuinely happy. “What about Saturday? Mid-morning?”

“Perfect. We’ll host.”

“Are you sure? My guys can get pretty rowdy –“

“I can _handle_ it,” Wade had snipped.

“Okay. Peg has to work, so it’ll just be us boys,” he said, his gentle smile almost _audible._

“Okaywellseeyouthen,” Wade had said, about to hit the red dot and end this interaction.

“Wade, listen,” and he had, because Steve Rogers was a fucking empath or something, “it means a lot to us that you’re willing to do this. To me. Peter’s – important to me, and you’re clearly very important to him, and I’m glad to have a chance to spend time with you.”

… _Sigh._ Hating himself, Wade had muttered something about “yeahmetoo.”

And that was interesting enough. But later that day, he’d received another call from an Avenger.

“Hey, I hear you’re having Cap and Bucky and Tony over on Saturday,” Clint had said, characteristically direct, which was usually one of the things Wade appreciated about him. “Nat and I want to come, too.”

“Uh – you do know they’re coming over for a play date?” Wade had asked, because there was no point wasting the energy to cover. “As in age play? As in, adults who are your friends will be playing as little kids?”

“I know!” Clint said, defensively. “We’re hip to it. Nat and I do that, too.”

“You – really? Is one of you a Big, or –“

“No, we’re both, like, little kids. And we want to come over and play with you guys.”

And because Wade couldn’t think of a good way to get out of it (except he could have just said “No” or “Maybe next time”) he had agreed.

And then, the next day, things had gotten even interesting-er.

“Wade, I’m so sorry to do this,” Captain America had told him, “but one of the judges has dropped out of an arts competition at the high school where I volunteer, and they need someone for Saturday.”

“That’s cool,” Wade had said, because clearly the most sadistic and self-hating of his inner voices had taken over, “I can handle it by myself.”

“Oh – I was going to offer to reschedule, but – are you sure? Tony and Bucky were really looking forward to Saturday, and I honestly don't know if they can stand to wait longer than that.”

“Easy peasy.”

So -- now they were here, in their kitchen, a fridge full of little kid snacks and juice boxes, waiting for half of the Avengers to show up. To be Little. And Wade would take care of them. By himself.

Because Wade was going to _show_ Captain America. Swoon-inducing and caring as he may be, Wade was sure that this was still some kind of test of his character, of his worthiness to be with their beloved Spidey, and he was going to _show_ their asses.

He was going to out-dad Captain America, the dad-liest of super heroes.

“What if they’re like, dressed different?” Peter fretted. “What if – what do people wear to be Little? Should I change?”

But he was currently doing a piss-poor job of dad-ing, judging by how close Peter looked to having a conniption fit. He carefully took hold of either side of Peter’s face to still him and kissed him on the forehead. “I guarantee they are freaking out _just_ as much as you are right now, if not more so. And I will be here with you, the whole time, and I think you’re perfect.”

Peter sighed heavily, pulling Wade into a Spidey-hug (which was a hug where Peter kind of forgot how very very strong he was and kind of crunched Wade’s rib cage a little [but like in a good way]). “Are you nervous, babe?” Peter asked. “I’m sorry, I’m such a mess, I didn’t even think to—“

“Whaaat? Me, nervous?” Wade postured, which made Peter smile a little, which was awesome. “I’m motherfucking Deadpool! Well – Dadpool today.”

And that made Peter “aw” and tell him how cute he was and give him kisses, and everything was just going really well all of the sudden when, of course, there was a knock on their door. A very solid, patriotic knock. Peter took a deep breath and let it out slowly as Wade went to answer.

Captain America smiled broadly at him when he opened the door. He was wearing a dad-sweater, because of _course_ he was. Wade had meant to change out of his Hannah Montana hoodie into something more responsible looking, but in his concern over his nervous boyfriend, he’d forgotten. He straightened as he ushered the three men into their apartment.

“I’m so sorry again that I can’t stay,” Cap said after they’d all exchanged very awkward greetings, and he handed Wade a canvas bag with the logo of some local farm emblazoned on it. “I brought some snacks, I don’t know what you guys like, but I didn’t want you to have to feed my kiddos.”

Wade looked at Tony and Bucky, who he was glad to see were wearing T-shirts and comfy jeans just like Peter. “Thanks,” he said, taking the tote bag. “I picked up extra juice boxes and fruit and shit. All natural. Locally sourced. I mean – obviously.”

“Great, and Tony brought a really neat toy to share,” he said with an encouraging glance at Tony, “so that should help keep us occupied. And I hear Nat and Clint are coming, so you won’t be out numbered.”

Wade paused. “I was given to believe that they would also be aging down.”

“Oh.” Steve glanced at Bucky and Tony, who both looked skeptical. “I didn’t realize. How Little are they?”

Wade mentally kicked himself – he hadn’t even thought to ask. “I think about the same age as these guys, like 5-8, maybe a little older.” Yes. Good. That had sounded confident and informed.

“Well,” Steve nodded, “that’ll be fun. I’m hoping this will only take a couple of hours, but I do need to get going. Do you guys want to – go ahead and start?”

Steve and Wade both tried not to look expectantly at their Littles, who were all being _very_ quiet and withdrawn and did not look at all like they were in the vicinity of being comfortable enough to age down. Wade drew closer to Peter.

Tony, predictably, broke the silence. “You ready for this, Short Stuff?” he directed at Peter.

“Just because I’m the only human shorter than you,” Peter quipped, though in a smaller voice than he normally would have. Bucky snorted, and Wade thought it might have been a laugh but he wasn’t sure because his face went right back to the stony façade that it always was, at least in Wade’s experience. Wade looked to Steve, but the super soldier looked just as lost as he felt.

Just as Wade was about to suggest they all give up and have a beer before the awkwardness physically crushed them, Tony, Mr. Innovator, jumped in again. “Okay – on the count of three, everybody turn into a little kid. One, two, three.”

Tony clapped his hands to mark three. Each of the Littles looked at each other, and then promptly hid behind their respective daddies.

So – Tony’s trick had totally worked, which was progress, but now Wade had a baby spider clinging to his back while Captain America stood, looking hilariously surprised, with goddamn Iron Man and the Winter Soldier peeking out above his broad shoulders.

“They’re usually not shy,” Cap laughed, sounding a bit, could it be, embarrassed?

Wade would have been unfazed – Peter was shy sometimes, especially when they had first started doing this – except that he’d never had to take care of a shy Peter in _front_ of people before. He instinctively reached around and picked up his baby, who immediately wrapped his arms and legs tightly around him and buried his face in Wade’s neck. While it felt right to be comforting his kiddo, Wade was suddenly struck by how _intimate_ it was, and by how _different_ this was from how other people were used to thinking of and seeing them, as Deadpool and Spider-man, Sexiest Crime-Fighting Duo Ever, or as Peter and Wade, Exemplary Gay Couple. He looked up to meet Captain America’s eyes, defiantly, but saw that Steve was looking at them with an expression one might reserve for unexpectedly encountering a box full of puppies.

“Oh, I have to go or I won’t be able to leave,” Steve said, mournfully, turning to his Littles. “You two be good for Wade and have fun, okay? Mum’ll be here later to pick you up.”

Steve hugged and kissed his Littles, who were being brave but pulled at their daddy’s clothing even as he finally got out the door. Then, they kind of huddled together and looked at Wade, who still had a teeny spider glommed onto him, with wide eyes.

Wade swallowed – no doubt this was a moment when Captain Ameridad would have found something comforting and dad-ly to say, but he could only stare back at Little!Iron Man and Little!Winter Soldier as he gently bounced Little!Spider-man on his hip. Usually Peter handled social interactions, especially with the Avengers, because it was Wade’s job to be charmingly offensive, not make everybody comfortable.

To his utter shock, it was Bucky who spoke up this time. “What’s wrong with Peter?” he asked in a timid voice.

“He’s just a little shy,” Wade explained, smiling encouragingly at his baby, who was tentatively looking up at him, chewing on the knuckle of his thumb and trying really hard not to pop it in his mouth which made Wade’s heart clench, because Little!Peter only sucked his thumb in very stressful situations (like Mufasa getting trampled by wildebeests or Dori getting separated from her parents [god _damn,_ Disney]).

Wade looked up to see that Tony and Bucky (who he now saw were holding hands, which was as weird as it was _totes_ precious) had shuffled a little closer to them. “Can we help?” Tony asked, all wide-eyed and super genuine.

Shit. That was real cute. Inspiration! “Actually...”

Tony and Bucky returned quickly with the Hell Monkey (which they seemed to think was cool and not frightening, so it must be a Little thing) and presented it to Peter, who tentatively reached out and stroked the thing’s extra-floofy fur. Encouraged, Tony and Bucky ran back to the bedroom to get more of Peter’s toys to bring to him, and now Wade was sitting on their couch, Peter still in his lap, but facing out and growing less shy by the second, surrounded by a small pile of their belongings (because when Bucky and Tony had run out of Peter’s toys they started bringing any knick-knacks they found). Wade moved a decorative candle so that he could slide Peter onto the floor to sit with his friends, and Peter was so engrossed in the cool robot toy kit that Tony had brought that he didn’t even seem to notice. Dad Achievement 1 = Unlocked.

Now that Wade could sit to the side and observe them, he had to admit that this was possibly an awesome idea. Peter was clearly the youngest of the three, but he was also in _charge_ , which did not surprise Wade at all. Tony and Bucky listened intently as Peter explained the complex back-story of April and Turtles’ quest for Fire Island, and Tony had some great tech ideas while Bucky quietly suggested a few combat strategies. Then, the three of them turned their attention back to Tony’s robot kit and began developing a design specifically tailored to the tactical challenges the Island presented. Wade was sent for construction paper and crayons so they could sketch blue prints, and he sat a respectful distance away and occasionally asked questions as the super nerdy Littles worked on their project. Then it was time for a juice break.

“And sometimes,” Tony explained, his voice going up at the end of every two words in classic six-year-old fashion, “Bucky has trouble sharing, because he’s traumatized – “ Wade glanced cautiously at Bucky but saw that he was nodding, backing up his bro, “but I help him, because even though I’m a little littler than he is, I can still help him with stuff, and it’s because the bad guys, made him mean, and do mean things, but it’s okay, because, because mommy and daddy said, that he wouldn’t ever do anything mean to us, because he loves us.”

Tony punctuated the end of his tale with a loud slurp on his juice box. Wade looked back at Bucky, who was nodding again and actually smiling a little, so he guessed that had all been okay stuff for tiny Tony to share. Their dynamic was just adorable, and totally inexplicable, because Wade was preeetty sure that some of the people Bucky had “been mean to” were Tony’s parents, but they had obviously – moved past that? With the help of therapeutic age play? Whatever, it’s chill.

 Peter, who had been listening very hard, reached over and petted Bucky on the head, and Wade resisted the desire to coo. This was, dare he say, _fun_. All three boys were at ages when they pretty much occupied themselves and enjoyed interesting stuff, and they had such sweet Little personalities, so it was sort of great to hang out with them.

“And sometimes,” Tony began again, now that he’d finished his juice, “Bucky is a puppy.”

“—Oh.”

“And sometimes,” he kept going, climbing up on his big brother, who still didn’t look bothered, “when Bucky is big, he and mommy and daddy have adult hugging time—“

“Oh! Okay,” Wade gently cut him off, because much as he was intrigued by _how_ goddamn kinky Cap’s triad was (kinkier than him and Peter? [no way {time to TURN IT UP}]) he didn’t think it was good dad-behavior to let Tony keep talking. “How about a game before snack time? What kind of games do you guys play at your house? _Little_ kid games,” he clarified.    

Just as Tony and Bucky were about to both answer at once, there was another knock on their door. Fuck. Wade had kind of forgotten that they were expecting more guests. He left the Littles enthusiastically discussing what game they should play and answered the door.

“Sorry we’re late, brunch went long,” Clint explained, fairly jumping up and down. “Are they here?”

“They’re in the living room,” Wade gestured, and Clint took off, followed by Natasha, who said nothing but gave Wade a steely look.

Here’s the thing: Wade got along super well with Clint. Liked to hang out with him, even. But Black Widow – she did _not_ like Wade. Not even a little bit. And he knew this. He felt like it had gotten worse since he and Peter had started cohabitating and being disgustingly romantic. All of the Avengers were somewhat protective of Spidey, but Natasha most of all, probably because of the whole spider thing. She did not like Wade, and she did not like him being with Peter, and he suddenly wondered why he’d agreed to let her come to their home.

When he returned to the living room, he was greeted by the sight of Tony, Bucky, and Peter jumping up and down chorusing “Clint and Nat! Clint and Nat!” Natasha looked amused but slightly bewildered, but Clint looked perfectly at ease. The Big Kids were here.

“Do you guys want to play a cool game?” Clint asked, his eyes darting momentarily towards Wade.

The Littles screamed in the affirmative. Wade gulped. Clint and Nat had been here thirty seconds and the whole atmosphere had already changed because, like actual little kids, these fellas absorbed whatever the energy was around them, and he had a feeling this was just going to get worse.

He was right. “This game is called _Mordor,_ ” Clint announced, and Natasha grinned in a way that Wade didn’t like at all.

Turned out, “Mordor” was a game that traditionally involved stacking solo cups and knocking them down by throwing things at them (so – a drinking game. Probably something Nat and Clint had invented while pounding car-bombs with Johnny Storm or something), but since Wade and Peter didn’t have any solo cups they used whatever was at hand.

Wade suddenly realized that his only experience as a parent was with very well behaved kiddos, and then only with one kiddo at a time. An experienced parent or babysitter would have cut this idea off at the fucking pass and sent all of the kids into the backyard to run around until such demonic notions were purged from them, but since he hadn’t known to do that, and they didn’t have a backyard, he was stuck in their apartment trying his best to keep anything from getting broken.

Mordor was the worst game _ever_ and the name didn’t even make sense – it was just called that so you could shout “Mordor!” at the top of your voice every time you knocked something down, which was every goddamn _second_. Wade vainly hoped that Peter, hearing the sanctity of their home so disturbed and seeing their belongings so abused, would age up and stop these fucking hooligans, but he was, somehow, just as enthralled in the game as Bucky and Tony, which left Wade feeling confused and helpless. He tried a couple of times to use a “dad voice” to get them to quiet down or play a different game, but Clint cheerfully told him to “lighten up,” which made the Littles laugh and made Wade want to cry.

So, turned out Mordor _wasn’t_ the worst game ever. The worst game ever was whatever this activity was that they were all engaged in now, which seemed to involve running and bouncing off as many surfaces as possible. There did not appear to be rules, so Wade wondered if it was actually a game or just absolute motherfucking chaos. After chasing the three Littles around to try to keep them from killing themselves (because Clint and Natasha, he had realized, were _not_ aged down but were just being _dicks_ because they obviously had nothing better to do with their weekend than make his life a living hell), Wade had given up and sat down at their table, watching hopelessly as Iron Man used his couch as a catapult.

So much for Dadpool. There was zero chance of him getting this situation back under control. Two of these kids weren’t even his, and two of them were goddamn adults (one of whom was supposed to be his _friend_ ), and his usual methods of crowd control (stabbing, threatening to stab, talking loudly about stabbing) were not on the table. He sighed, resting his head in his hands, and waited for Peggy Carter to come rescue his sorry ass from this hell.

And then he felt a gentle, familiar hand petting his head, and he looked up to see his sweet baby boy – who had moments ago been hanging from the ceiling and yelling incoherently – looking at him with concerned eyes. “Poor daddy,” Peter comforted, still petting him.

Wade sighed. Even when Peter was Little, he was still Wade’s center, like a perfect scoop of ice cream in a waffle cone at the eye of a hurricane. “Daddy has no idea how to handle this situation, my guy,” he confessed. “The Big Kids have taken over.”

Peter looked at him thoughtfully, and Wade wondered if he was a little bit aged up after all. “I think,” he said, still in his slightly-higher Little voice, “that you should put us all in time out. Including me.”

Wade had never put anyone in time out before. Except for Bob, once, but that was a very different situation. He wasn’t sure he could do it. But his baby Spidey was looking at him with such love and compassion. He hooked an arm around Peter’s shoulders and pulled him close for a kiss on the forehead, then stood up from the table and went to stand in the living room so that he was at the epicenter of the chaos. He struck his best approximation of a Stern Dad pose, Hannah Montana stretching proudly across his torso.

“That’s enough,” he said in a loud, well-supported voice that was not a shout. To his relief, every other human in the apartment stopped and looked at him in shock, probably having forgotten he was there. “Everybody is in time out. You’re all doing stuff you know you’re not supposed to do, so – find a spot against the wall.”

There was silence. Tony and Bucky, who had been playing “heli-carrier” on the bed, looked at each other and then at Peter. Peter, conscious that he had their attention, obediently came into the living room and sat down against the wall. With one more look at each other, Tony and Bucky followed Peter’s example, sitting against the living room wall and looked contritely back at Wade.

“Good boys,” Wade said. He looked expectantly at Natasha and Clint, who were looking at the chastised Littles very uncomfortably. Seeing Wade’s expression, Clint held up his hands in surrender and dropped down in the nearest corner. Natasha narrowed her eyes at him but followed suit, sitting gracefully down across from Clint.

“Okay,” Wade said, relieved, “let’s sit here and calm down while I get snacks ready. No talking.”

Wade turned to go to the kitchen, doing his best to ignore the Extra Sad Anime Eyes that Bucky and Tony were currently giving him. By the time he’d collected five apples and the cutting board, he heard sniffling behind him. Against his better judgment, he turned around and saw – sure enough – Iron Man and the Winter Soldier quietly weeping in his living room. Which was awful. But worse – _infinitely_ worse – was that when he looked over to where Peter was sitting he saw him wiping at his eyes.

Wade gripped the counter top so hard he heard the wood groan. His sweet little baby spider was _crying._ Because of _him_. The urge to SCOOP and CUDDLE was so intense that he felt like he’d vomit his heart right out on the kitchen floor, but no – this was time out. This had been Peter’s suggestion, and he would be okay. Maybe.

God DAMN Clint and Natasha. Bucky and Tony, who were being very brave and trying to stop their tears like Peter, were obviously not used to being put in time out. And Peter, who was a handful when he was an adult, was an absolute _angel_ when he was Little. Wade had _never_ given him time out, never even gotten onto him about anything. He imagined that even when Peter was an actual kid that he’d been one of those who you just gave “the look” and he got in line but quick. These were good boys. They were not given to causing trouble…unless provoked.

Wade started angrily slicing apples. Motherfucking Hawk Eye, coming over and ruining his kiddos’ good time just because he was _bored_. And goddamn Black Widow, just wanted to fuck with Wade and make him look like an asshole. He looked back into the living room and saw, to his surprise and satisfaction, that both Clint and Natasha were looking at the sniffling Littles with expressions of utter horror. Clint looked like he might cry himself – he clearly had _no_ idea what he’d been getting into here – and Natasha threw him a nasty look, because he’d clearly talked her into this and told her it would be fine. Hmph, Wade thought as he went back to slicing apples. _Good._

Minutes later, Wade brought five apples which were sliced and arranged into perfect spirals into the living room, and invited everyone out of time out to come have their snack. The three Littles came forward and started munching quietly, casting him furtive glances, and Wade quickly found opportunities to ruffle each of their hair affectionately to let them know he still liked them, which immediately brightened their moods. Clint looked up at him as if hoping Wade might ruffle his hair as well, but he did _not_. Natasha nibbled at one apple slice but was distracted by watching the Littles, her eyes full of concern.

Soon, all five apples had been eaten and the three Littles chorused quiet “thank yous” as Wade took their plates. Clint complimented him on his immaculate spirals, and Wade took pity on him and said he’d had lots of practice.

Then, shocking the utter fuck out of Wade, Natasha turned to the Littles and said, “Let’s clean up this mess we made, guys.”

The Littles and Clint nodded eagerly. Shocking even more fuck out of him, Natasha turned to Wade, as if for permission, and her eyes were still cold but not quite as scary as normal. “Uh – great idea. Thank you.”

A surprisingly short time later, their apartment was back to normal, cushions replaced and dishware returned to cabinets, all unscathed. (Days later, Wade would receive a package with three pieces from their Star Wars Risk board game with a note from Clint that said, “I pooped these out. Haha, just kidding. Maybe.”)

As a reward for their hard work, Wade put on Disney Sing It, which he and Peter usually reserved for Tequilla Mondays. This was the BEST idea EVER, and he and Peter aaalmost beat Clint and Tony’s rendition of “Reflection” from _Mulan_ with their performance of “How Far I’ll Go” from _Moana_. And actually, Nat and Bucky were slaying it pretty hard with “Kiss the Girl” when Peggy Carter arrived.

“Hello, my darlings,” Peggy said in her warm, extra-pretty voice as she hugged her boys who had adorably chorused “Mummy!” as soon as she came through the door. “Have you taken good care of your Uncle Wade?”

“Oh, yeah,” Wade interjected before Tony and Bucky could incriminate themselves. “They made invaluable contributions to the Fire Island campaign, and ate all of their snacks, and they even cleaned the house.”

“Well,” Peggy said, looking amused, “I’m very glad to hear it. I was a bit concerned when I heard what a house-full you were expecting.” She looked pointedly at Clint and Natasha, who waved guiltily.

“Nah,” Wade dismissed, overcome with a desire to impress this woman, not in the way he wanted to show up Captain America, but because – jesus, she was just so _great_. I mean, look at her _outfit._

She smiled warmly at him. “We’ll have to have a play date at the brownstone soon, and you can have a day off. Though I’m not sure Steve and I can live up to your parenting skills.”

_Blush._

Wade double-checked to make sure all of the pieces of Tony’s robot kit were together as Tony and Bucky shared very sad good-byes with Peter, and Peggy and Wade reassured their kiddos that they’d play together again soon. Wade could tell that Peter was quickly going into nap-mode, so he ended their Sing It game and put on _Ren and Stimpy_. Clint helped Wade make grilled cheese for everyone, and Peter fell asleep to the “Log” jingle, despite Clint and Nat singing along.

“This was awesome, buddy,” Clint said, surprising Wade with a hug. “I’m sorry we were such dicks. You guys come to the Tower soon and we’ll play Mordor the right way—“

“With lots of whiskey,” Natasha explained, actually giving him a small smile as they left.

*~*~*

“I’m _so_ sorry I put you in time out.”

“Whaaat?” Peter squawked around his toothbrush, leaning out of the bathroom to look at Wade, who had collapsed on their bed. “Don’t be sorry -- I was being a little shit!”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Wade insisted as he heard the adorable sound of Peter spitting into the sink. “But did you have fun?”

Peter responded by taking a running leap onto the bed and straddling his chest. “ _So_ much fun. You are the best daddy _ever_ , Dadpool. And you’re such a stern disciplinarian…”

Wade squirmed as Peter cheerfully ground their crotches together. “Good heavens we’re fucked up.”

The next day, Wade received more calls from Avengers.

“Hey, Cargo-Shorts,” greeted Tony’s voicemail with his nickname that had something to do with how many pockets Wade had on his costume (which was fair), “sorry we wrecked your house. How ‘bout you two come with me and Pepper upstate this weekend? Peg and the Icemen are having adult-hug time or they’d come, too. Also, Bucky says ‘hi’ and thanks – he’d call but he hasn’t really figured out phones yet, he says, but I think he’s fucking with me.”

So that was happening.

“You’re amazing, Wade,” Captain American had told him, all genuine and handsome-sounding. “Peggy says this is really weird and paternal of me to say, but, I’m so glad Peter’s with someone like you.”

…Goddamnit.

“Hey,” Natasha had said when he finally answered his phone after wiping off the screen three times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating, “could I come by some time? I have something for Peter.”

“Sure, we’re nabbing baddies right now but we should be home in like 45 minutes.”

There was a pause. “Could I – maybe come by when Peter’s – little? Sorry, it’s this spider plushie that I saw and thought of him. It’s dumb.”

“He loves plushies. I’ll call you next time we play.”

“…Thanks.”

And sometimes a play date just changes your relationships with like 76 different people. Worth it. Dadpool = 100% Completion.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you all for your kudos and super sweet comments! Next up is another age play (with Little!Wade -- gasp) and then medical kink, and then I'll work on somnophilia and breeding/filling. If you have requests, say the word! Challenges help us grow!


End file.
